And it seems that not much has changed. I’ve still got that ‘negative’ outlook on life, or so people have told me. But is it really negative? Maybe, just maybe, it’s realistic, and you’re all just optimists. Ignorant, naive optimists. See, I don’t think I’m negative. Nor do I think I attach ‘negative connotations’ to what I say. I remember having an entire argument about all of this a while back.

Here’s a little insight on the discrepancy between being negative, and being realistic. To be negative about something is to disregard ALL other possibilities that are there. No matter how small the likelihood of it is, it’s immediately and indefinitely disregarded. Saying something like “you’ll never change” is being negative in your view about someone. Being realistic however, is taking into account everything, then making a statement on what you think is the likely outcome. Saying something like “I doubt you’re going to change who you are” is being realistic, given that, your view on the person is of that nature. 

So, with that, is my look on life all that negative? I think not. Just because I don’t smile all that often, that doesn’t mean I’m a negative person. It just means I don’t have much to smile about. Just because I care about very few people, and for very few things, that doesn’t mean I’m anti-social. It just means I don’t want to take the chance of getting hurt. There’s a perfect example of realistically looking at something, actually. See, I don’t say “everyone’s going to hurt me”, cos that would be me being negative. Instead, I say “there’s a high chance that most of the people I encounter will hurt me, given the chance”. That’s realistic. If by now you haven’t been able to grasp the discreet difference between the two, then, not to sound rude, but I advise you to stop reading.

Anyway, enough about that. Lately, I’ve realized that I don’t do anything at all. Okay, that’s wrong. I do, do things. But they’re hardly productive. I play games, I sleep, I listen to music and I isolate myself from everyone and everything at times, too. I do everything that I shouldn’t, haha. But I think the worst thing is, is that I don’t do anything about it. I mean, here I am, acknowledging that I’m letting life pass me by, but I’m not doing anything about it. It’s that entire concept of actually doing it, that bugs me. I mean, what’s it all for? Call me depressed kid all you want, but what do you get out of doing something? Sure, you might feel good about yourself for a while, but what happens in the end? You die. That’s what happens. Sorry to put it so bluntly, but that’s the way it is. You die. I die. We all die. Isn’t that an absolute bitch? I mean, even if we build some glorious foundation for our family to live on, what’s the point of it? We don’t get to see it, cos we’ll most likely be dead. We won’t even know if it’s being put to good use.

I don’t think I’ll be posting on here for a while, or at least until something changes. Which, I doubt will be any time soon. So here’s a little something to finish off with.

Now, this isn’t mine, so I won’t take all the credit for it, but I did a bit of editing, so I’ll take a bit of credit for myself.

“Everyone knows that there is that time when you’re just tired.

Not because of a lack of sleep and not because you’re out of breath. You’re just tired of how everything is and the people around you. Tired of pretending to be yourself and taking less than you deserve. 

You’re just tired of life, and you’re tired of living.”

Tumblr, that is my life.